Weren't you self-described as an 'arab' slut?
No?
Well my cheeks are red now
Even my Mr Clean Magic Eraser can't make last night disappear.
you kept screaming that dicks were growing out of your back and then you started crying cause they were so far from your vag
could you get any more awkward?
I drove to Chevron at noon and the Hatian lady goes "Oh, nothing to drink yet white boy?"
and then they started calling me 'Shitshow Shandra', which apparently i took as a compliment.
We've been broken up for 7 months. His mom sent me a card with a brochure inside titled "How at Risk for STD's are you?"
If I won't even leave the house for sex tonight. I definetly not going out for anything else.
How's the hangover?
I've been begging my dog to mercy kill me for over an hour. He has this look like he might do it, you know, as my best friend should.
We found him. He was passed out in a McDonalds booth with at least 6 big Mac wrappers. The employee said he kept yelling that he was in America and had the freedom to have big macs. Fucking Italians...
Meh, all I have to do tomorrow is proctor an AP test. No loud noises and no physical activity allowed for almost 4 hours. Sounds like the perfect recovery period for a hangover.
I still can't believe that dog licked my nipple.
I'm just gonna ride this ego train to sex town
Im going to seductively wisper "that butters my biscuit" in your ear
Just witnessed a man yell "gonna catch a slut!" at himself in the mirror while doing bicep curls at the gym.
I was...perplexed.
I have never been that aroused while laughing my ass off in my life
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