I fell asleep next to my cousin and woke up with my hand in her pants because i though it was lisa
when im bored during the day i often think, what do people who dont get high do with their day.. i came to the conlcusion that everyone must be getting high
There's just this way he looks at me that makes me want to suck his soul out through his dick.
don't tell her this, but while we were doing it doggy style I picked up my phone and changed my status to "who let the dogs out"
I don't know if the fire truck was perfect timing or if she actually burned something down.
Nights like last night are what makes cleaning up the vomit in the morning worth it
During the middle of giving him head, he flashes his phone and says "I like to watch."
Oh it's happening. I'm Chugging a beer while sitting next to a 6 year old
If I'm gonna go to jail I'm gonna be wearing a poncho
He stood up, threw the bag of bud between me and Tory, yelled "Fight" and then ran upstairs for the pizza
After some trial and error I found soaking my balls in maple syurip helps ease the pain.
Its Nebraska, I'm sure im not the first person to wake up hungover in a corn field.
Not a problem, sailor. I speak both autocorrect and typo.
George Washington did not fight for our freedom just to have people shit themselves all night
Im bringing my light up rubber ducky just in case we end up at a rave tonight. HE CHANGES COLOR!
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