I had a good time, probably would have a bigger headache today if you were in town.
I want you to know that wearing office supplies as jewelry results in waking up with the wrong roommate. Also, strip clubs and vodka don't mix.
Dont judge me. Him and his friends got me drunk for free, the least i could do was suck his dick
Dude, you face planted, there was no "bar fight".
He did not want a thank you for helping me move in bj. I don't know how to thank him now.
He's tryingto open a beer with a Police baton. Cut him off or see where this leads?
They evidently had to pull his penis out of me while we were passed out on the floor.
he sent me a pic of his dick and balls out with sunglasses over them like a face. i was at dinner.
do you still have it? i kinda want to see.
Just found my socks folded and in the back pocket of my jeans. Apparently drunk me refuses to lose shit after the panties incident over New Years.
I had wine for breakfast at 6am, that's how visiting my parents went.
I AM A GOOD PERSON AND THEREFORE I DESERVE QUALITY DICK!
I need my sock, sombrero, maracas, and I just heard I had a light saber, if thats the case...i want that back too
If you wanna fuck the pudding, fuck the pudding. Just not the chocolate, Im gonna eat that.
You told me not to tell you found out you're pregnant..
A lady played my boobs as if they were drums. It's been that kinda night.
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