I can't believe you made out with me with a french fry in your mouth.
There are the 2 BIGGEST tools by me-- at our table. I hate them. But they're not ugly and I may make out with them later. And hate myself. Definitely hate myself.
Dude, a dry wedding reception should nullify the vows, because really, without the booze, you might as well be 5 years old again and playing dress-up
I am never taking advice from you again. The high heels in the shower were a bad idea. I orgasmed and almost drowned.
Is there a fine for having sex in the back of a zipcar?
He smashed a plastic chair leg on a tree stump, threw himself into the side of our metal enclosure, stomped on the wreckage for a bit and then punched the fire.
The sad thing was my husband told her its ok to make out with me. Bar Tuesdays will live on regardless.
You know you are 86'd from the legacy right? You can't down shots then spike the shot glass
Come over. I've made 2 dinners and so many cocktails. I'm a 50's housewife with no family.
If I had a dollar for every straight boy that questioned their sexuality because of me, I would live a comfortable middle-class life.
Taking dicks and breaking hearts, no better life
All I got was pictures of my boss and dicks. So, that was the end of snapchat.
Lmao a dude who just got out of prison said im worth 10 cigarettes in prison...I think that's a compliment
I'm hungover and eating lunch at an elementary school. The children are barking. Litrealy barking, like dogs.
i'm pretty sure my brother is still drunk from last night. he's telling my parents that humans are at the top of the food chain for a reason and listing off all the exotic animals he would eat
Randomize
