There are traffic cones in the living room. One of them is yours.
i always forget guys have bellybuttons
They gave me a glowstick necklace to wear so they could locate me if I wandered off into the woods
i just called. the lady was really nice. something tells me my schools clinic gets a lot of calls about chlamydia
They poked me and kept screaming "LAUGH DOUGH BOY" it's like 3rd grade all over again.
The moment you ate chicken nuggets out of your purse you were my hero.
Where the hell did i get chicken nuggets from
I think not having bongs in close range is good for my academia
Love me.
GO THE FUCK TO BED IT'S 3AM I AM NOT TAKING YOU TO MCDONALDS.
Just for one nugget?
Dude imagine how many pictures of dicks Obama gets. That can't be unusual. Almost every kids in the US has written the president a letter.
Invite that kid who wants to become a priest. I WANT ON.
I think clothing becomes optional at the second date! But you seem like a rule breaker
why is there a dog in my house with your initials shaved in it's fur?
dude, i just woke up in a house i've never seen. i have bigger problems
Yeah just had sex and grub hub came right after he did. I’d say it’s a win.
There is an episode of "how it's made" on tv right now. The subject is tequila and water beds. Basically my life.
Aw. You're having cute FaceTime with your fiance, I'm trying to convince myself not to booty call a 42 year old. #adulting
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