I just had human shit waiting for me at the top of the escalator at Bowery. This is truly the Lord's day.
May the Lord look upon you in favor and give you pees.
Thank you for leaving pool of vagina on my girlfriends carpet.
One person in the car. Three blizzards. Alot of judging.
i was about to rearrange the room but realized that this is the only efficient setup where we can have sex while the other one's asleep without them accidentally seeing.
Just did lines off your face, congrats on getting in the magazine bro
i looked at my phone and realized all i had said to her the entire night was misspelled variations of "NOTHING IS THE SAME" over and over. she eventually stopped replying.
I'll answer your question with a question: Are you gonna be too high?
do you know where my other puke covered boot is
Girls at BYU need to learn how to handle a penis. I swear my date last night was trying to pull it off my body to use later.
People were wondering why I started hanging out with him after high school, the simple answer is now that I don't see his dorky ness everyday I can just focus on his amazing penis.
there is a spider sitting on top of my weed like he owns it or some shit
no but seriously tf do i do? i have that spider phobia but i think my lvoe of the weed overpowers it
I HAD TO TAKE A SHOT OF JAGER AND SOME REDBULL JUST TO SEE IF IT’LL MAKE MY MOUTH FEEL BETTER
So I think I've successful blown my foot off in a way that's going to make you call me an idiot.
Why the fuck is Ian Naked eating string cheese in my guest bedroom?
Sadly my Summer of Cocks is coming to an end
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