Are they still out there making out on the couch? How can we get them to leave?
I 'm gonna go stand naked in the kitchen with a knife
I don't know the quality of the hand jobs you've received in the past but it CLEARLY was not one from me
this is the last time we take the mathletes drinking.
my nipple ring is gone but someone was nice enough to replace it with a paperclip
That's terrible. At least give it a creative name like muff mobile.
I just laughed at the word pudding. I have no idea whats going on right now.
It's titled "A countdown to death. A psychological look at the downward spiral of actress Lindsay Lohan and her inevitable Hollywood demise" This dissertation is genius. Not a single sober moment for either Lindsay or myself. Good stuff!
BTW I totally understand panda express being popular amongst the highs. I can feel the shrimp being slaughtered in my mouth. It's fantastic.
We were in the middle of fucking and she was just like "Do ya wanna play Harry Potter Scene It?" I musta been really bad lol Anyways, her tattoo healed nicely.
I was trying to fart in my sleep in the hopes that he would leave
The international association of gay square dance clubs had a booth set up in the lobby of my hotel.
Anyone who has court these next few days keep your head up & smile knowing we broke the County Record with 27 underage consumptions
my grandpa paid for my boob job but he just doesn't know it.
Ik youre sleeping but fyi its 5:32am I'm sitting in the middle of the road bra less and shoeless with boxers in my hand and no ride. Shits real crazy.
Once my new license was put into my hand, a light from the heavens shined down and pauly D's voice was in my mind saying ohh yeaaah 21 yeaaah
Randomize
