Do you feel like you missed out a little from not getting crabs in college?
operation "beaches make me wet" is a go
my mom just asked me, concerned, if I swallowed.
drunk tastebuds have low standards.
Food Network. Taking bong rips everytime we want to eat. BOBBY FLAY.
I'm all about sex. But even I know there will be a time to retire my junk. And that will be my 40th birthday, or whenever I'm hideous
I applaud your efforts, but I have to say it was the bear we encountered that ultimately shut down the entire operation
She cracked her neck before the blowjob and I knew shit just got real.
There's cereal in my underwear. Was I in your apartment at any time last night? That's the only logical explanation for this.
I just had a horrible epiphany. I have fucked girls younger than Star Tours
This text was so worth waking up to
Back. Waiting on Thong the shuttle bus driver. THONG
He said we were over, wrote my name on the condom he left in my car last night and said he'd always keep it in case I came back. It was kind of romantic
Holy shit, I wanna ride him into the horizon.
I wonder if Paul and Andy realize how lucky that they are that we're too lazy to start fucking other dudes so we just stick with them
Like when your most normal sex dream is you being a prostitute, you know it's been one long ass dry spell.
Randomize
