party started at 10. cops are coming to shut us down now and its 11. i already lostmy underwear and im wearing a sparkly thong on my haed. this has to be some kinda record.
I walk in to see her roommate half naked on their stripper pole. I knew I was home.
I'm spooning a three legged dog right now. Started drinking whiskey with Breakfast. Best part about being biracial is Irish cousins. Dog Pic Attahed
its all coming back to me in waves....waves of humiliation and nausea.
found inexpensive tickets to Norway. Questioning if its legal. PLEASE tell me you remebered the walkie talkies and face paint.
We just took turns doing keg stands. 27 is way too old for this. Out of 5 of us, our best time was 9 seconds.
Im pretty sure you told the waiter at Dennys last night to take your pants off or show a nipple.
Yes she scared me. She had NIPPLE CLAMPS ATTACHED TO A STUN GUN.
I can't help the fact that i'm turned on by white boys that look like Jesus
Fuck man, my Dad's been single so long I get him a year's sub to a porn site every year for for Father's Day
And the night ended with some random dude pissing on a car in a vain attempt to find a proper bathroom. We, the drunk, salute you, sir!
He called me skinny, I broke his garbage disposal, then denied him sex. Normal second date etiquette.
This morning he fucked me while I was brushing my teeth. So I kept brushing as he thrusted. Then I brushed his teeth with my toothbrush while he was still in me. So hygienic.
then I ended up getting a lapdance from my TA...I love college.
he had to stop me from eating snow off the street on the way back to pick up our cars. that's how hungover i am.
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