I may be in pain from falling off the roof but getting to the morning roof keg was well worth it.
If I don't have herpes this will be the single greatest day of my life
Funny. I made out with his brother for the first time in a bathroom too.
He turned down jacuzzi sex. He cares more about my vagina than i do.
I just saw a wasted dude crawl out of the road at 2 in the afternoon. Big question- still drunk from the weekend or hitting the soju already?
Make sure you have everything youll need until sunday. aka a green shirt and condoms.
i would have fingered myself to death by now but the dog wont stop staring at me
I was drunk while I accepted my job offer. Here's to growing up.
Never drinking again. Maybe, if our boss gave us more 3-day weekends we would know how to handle ourselves. That was a shit show.
First he fixed my gutter. Then he flogged me and fucked me. Then he bought me a new vacuum cleaner. I don't understand Daddy Dom stuff but I ain't mad at it.
Ended up at the strip club, got told I should be a dancer 4 times, got free tacos and my hot TA slide in the dms. How was your night?
yeah the cops just showed up and they got there ass handed to them at beer pong.
I saw the president of my women in business club at the bar last night...I was gonna thank her for teaching me the business skills to create my own fake to get in... then i decided not
This year my vagina is giving thanks that several of my cubs are coming home for the holiday
We somehow ended up in Oklahoma. Nick's been crapping for two hours and I'm afraid to call a doctor because who the hell knows what sort of stuff goes down in the middle of nowhere. So not a great long weekend really.
Randomize
