You know im sick of people that are still obsessed w obama. that was sooooo last year
She had been watching Bad Girls Club where the annoying girl always says "I RUN L.A.". After she got wasted she kept going up to strangers at the bar yelling "I RUN FAYETTEVILLE." I peed in her drink.
people who like being in relationships make me feel bad about myself.
i had to write a bad check to buy franzia last weekend. i have my priorities in line.
I may still return these pants. Depends how much they smell like alcohol by tmrw morning. I've already spilled once.
you broke a plate. told her her wedding china was ugly and you were doing her a favor. then proceeded to break every plate you could get your hands on.
It was good I woke up with my mattress on top of me. I walked around naked the whole night as people wished my Happy Birthday.
HE'S turngign 18teen real soon.k
I think my goal for this black wed is to not scream at an off duty state cop in a bar after trying to flirt with him. No need to make that an annual tradition
Hahah what did you even say to him?!
That I was gonna inflate his vagina with a leaf blower?
Oh.
I just pulled the nickels from earlier out of my bra in class. The guy next to me is either terrified or intrigued.
No it'll be my boobs and the luge part will be from my nipples. Everyone will be sucking beer from my perfectly sculpted and partially melted tits.
Right now you and beer are my only friends.
Well you could have stayed home, played house and got blow jobs all weekend babe, but we all have to live with our decision
There’s an entire generation of people out there who didn’t grow up watching Mr. Rogers and it shows. These Boomers need to get their shit together.
Randomize
