what ever happened to devon sawa?
fuck...who knows?
i'm really worried about him.
so i'm sitting in his room drinking tequila from the bottle and watching harry potter. he's jacking off to some porn a couple feet away from me. at one point i look over and see that he's watching me instead of the porn. please help me figure out how warped it is that i found that romantic
It's always a relief to be able to look at some one, and remind yourself that there IS some one who gets laid less then yourself.
So I'm really hungover walking to work and these douches from comcast on bikes ask if they can take a picture with me to show that they're doing their job. The picture: me, this chick from comcast, i'm holding a 2 ft. pixie stick, a comcast flyer and i'm puking in the parking lot. sounds like their doing a good job!
She started crying while we were cooking shrimp because 'Under the Sea" came on Pandora
Tidal wave of highness just hit. Find shelter and catnip. gloves. zebra striped car washes.
I just hit the bong during the whole bday song then blew the candles out with my exhale.
He was sucking my nipples then stopped, looked me dead in the eyes and said "im gonna cum for my babygirl"
it's my birthday, i should be around people i want to fuck
I made $130 by ordering two pizzas and charging them $10 a slice. If they weren't so stoned they might have realized they could have just ordered another pizza for $20.
Dude my body has gone into shock from not eating frozen pizza and chips. I've been shitting like Richard Simmons after a night out of twerking in a corn field
My ass is underappreciated
Pretty sure we ruined a bachelorettes life last night
I made an executive decision to rename my Resume file to something other than MONEYMONEYMONEY.
Teacher vividly described one of the times he did shrooms, sat down, sighed, and told everyone to go do drugs and let us out 15 minutes into class. I love community colleges
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