To answer your question of whether I "went back," tits just informed me I was kicked out for falling off my barstool and passing out on the floor...
I had a dream last night that Anthony Bourdain gave me a vibrator.
Just saw the hottest 4 garbage men ever. They should make a calendar
that's the last time we turn jepordy into a drinking game.
My life has literally become a dickpocolypse. Thank you, summer, I missed you.
Harry Potter. Singing. Sobering up. In that order.
is election day enough of a holiday to justify getting fucked up on a tuesday?
Also I hooked up with a trainer at my gym. Between her, the married chick, and the bartender, my life is becoming a bad porn plot.
These bathrooms are miraculous. I'd love to have sex in here. Wow. I've peed 5 times.
Hey can you text me Heidi's phone number. I just stapled her mattress to the wall and I want to send her a picture of it.
He said that I looked like a "ghost had crawled up into my vagina and died"..so yeah, I'd say the hangover was noticeable.
He made me choke him and call him Papi..so all in all a good night.
I just shaved my pubes into a heart shape. if that doesn't scream romantic idk what does
The magician guy on probation is here at the bar. I'm gonna get him to show me a trick
He put a doughnut around his dick and I ate it. What can I say. It was a good fucking night.
Randomize
