Sponge bath it is.
I'm way too drunk on a Sunday to handle this level of Jesus.
any advancement on the stomach flu vs. pregnancy scare of '10?
This is part your fault too. Don't tell me your dishes are unbreakable and not expect me to prove you wrong.
Thanks for pulling me out of the bed by my feet atleast one of us was sober enough to know I had work at 5 am.
I'm lowering my standards just so I can get laid, but I draw the line when a guy spells cool kewl
bad night - i tried for naughty librarian but could only manage to pull off pissed off barrista.
I've been trying to brush my teeth for 20 mins now... Mother of hangovers.
Were you drinking last night?
Because typically I don't associate the phrase 'Go sleepy time' with sobriety.
I got custody of our girlfriend in the breakup.
It's not too terrible. You just got a little naked and broke your arm.
I was sending him tit pics while watching how to train your dragon 2. It was everything.
"Accidentally" bump into him after class.
I'm gonna "accidentally" put his dick in my mouth.
Well you got kicked off a stripper pole. They said girls only.
well...I was at work...until someone dropped dead during their performance of "I believe I can fly". It was karaoke night.
Randomize
