Was it cool?
About as cool as only getting a handjob on your honeymoon.
i just used a pokemon card to do blow. i need an adult. now.
his penis was like watching paranormal activity your very hyped up to see it but you think it might be very scary and in the end you didnt really see anything at all
i forgot how awkward it is to meet new people sober
my mom just poured a water bottle of wine to take my dog on a walk...
I know what youre going to say and vodka only explains half of my sitation
you can't tell me you didn't shit your pants I saw them in the trash can by the bathroom.
Well apparently I'm no fun since I won't have a threesome with him and my mother.
It felt like he was juggling my kidneys with the head of his penis... If you could even call it that, it was more like a lochness monster. Huge and mythical.
Just doin' what I do best: sitting in a stall in the class building's bathroom, pondering life and exploring deep, dark corners of the internet before class.
I don't care what you say, the fact that he's a drag queen with the same shoe size as me is reason enough to date him
This is a whole new generation of premature ejaculators
Welp just ran into my high school history teacher while buying a pregnancy test...there goes my veil of innocence in this town.
Erin was right. There were bees at the after hours.
We got high, had sex, and watched retro scooby doo shows. Best friends with benefits yet.
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