Small penises have feelings too.
So at this point...I'm sure you heard the story about Saturday night
We are so drunk I just let him piss between my legs on the toilet. That's love.
I'm sitting on the patient chair, waiting for my vagina to be violated & "i don't want to miss a thing" has been playing on repeat. WHY IS THIS HAPPENING TO ME.
I had to download the flashlight app so I could finish taking a dump when the power went out.
I'm going to make an art book filled with pics of me peeing in every bar bathroom I've ever been in. Dedicating it to you. You're welcome.
He explained how that handle got into our fridge. I think i'm going to stick with my original assumption that the vodka gods want me to drink more vodka.
Correct me if I'm wrong, but did you let me pee in the grass while barking? And also, how many of you have videos?
This is my gift to your gina
Saw a girl lying on her back next to a fire hydrant. Not sure if passed out drunk or sleeping under the stars
wait nvm its a dude
And then he dove into my vagina like scrooge mcduck into a room of gold
I asked him to sing a song so he couldn't hear me throwing up as he was holding my hair
I just left and he walked me out and went call me if you're ever... Eh... Whatever. And walked away.
Is it acceptable to respond to a declaration of love with 'and I love your dick'? Asking for a friend who shares a name and possibly a phone number with me. Entirely coincidental.
If it makes you feel any better I almost got kicked out of the bar for yelling "enjoy your celebratory incest"
I love you.
Randomize