His pickup line was "I'll eat you out"
He did it well too
I want you more than these girls want KFC
its always fun the next morning to look around the room and see where all the clothing landed.
Our phone convo was getting intense. Then I heard her say "quiet mommy is trying to have phone sex"
I literally stabbed myself so I had a valid reason to get out of having sex with her
She gave me a handjob while eating a mcdouble with mayo on the way home from the bars at 2 in the morning. Car was full of people. This could be forever
Tell your boss that he's keeping you from eating a fuck sundae off of these 36-24-36 34 D's waiting for you at home on Valentine's Day.
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
You're welcome to join, but just to warn you, tequila makes my clothes disappear. And I'm telling you that as an adult to an adult, not as your supervising teacher who decides whether or not you graduate.
so exactly what is concert sex etiquette? Before, during or after???
all of the above
Sorry I disappeared. Do you hate me?
Not at all, did you not hear me clapping outside your car on our way out?
So glad the long weekend is over so I can bring this bender to a merciful end.
I'd marry him just to keep his penis in the country
Being sober is no fun. Karaoke and not wearing pants are not socially acceptable things to do anymore and this depresses me.
somehow a ride to walgreens turned into a threesome.
Randomize
