My right nipple has been called many things but never a ghost pig
dude...i just woke up in ****'s bed!
doesn't he have a girlfriend???
yeah...who do you think woke us up...
Yah man, that place is surreal
Man, I'm from Tennessee. What the fuck is surreal?
I'm jammin out to some Brit Birt, she's still my bitch, I love her crazy ass
sometimes in life you just needs hand puppets
Wtf. Who made this Big Mac, Helen Keller?
about to try to wax my asshole... wish me luck
If you hook up with your cousin you will permanently be my favorite person ever.
I almost got on a bus to Langley Air Force Base. 99% sure that's not where I wanna be.
We got high and watched Winnie the Pooh. Isn't that what every normal person does on their break?
In order to save time, dignity and liver damage, wanna get naked?
It was like the icing on a beautiful fuck boy cake.
Next time I will hook the Xbox before I get high I spent 30minuts thinking I was playing the Simpsons game when it was in reality a tv episode
Everyone I slept with in 2016 is getting a Christmas card from me. Because I'm an adult.
Gonna try and have sex in the empire state bldg, will tell you how it goes
Randomize
