how was the sex?
he smelled like pickles and burnt hair.
well, there's that.
That chode just called off the engagement. I just dropped his toothbrush in the toilet. And I’ve forgotten to take my birth control for the past two weeks. He’s fucked!
Corey Haim died. 80's me is so sad
I just realized that I'm gonna have to lower my standards if I want random head.
She gave me a foot massage with her tongue. I think we're both scarred for life.
Dont worry about the blood on the pillow. its from my face.
Not a chance. She stuck her hand under my kilt and she told the whole table I was indeed commando. She broke all the rules.
i just looked in the mirror i look like i'm about to film a PSA about prostitution
Your little brother is asking me for an "expert opinion" on his dick size.
It's Saturday night and I'm getting shitfaced alone while reading Dino porn. Wassssuuuupppp
I was laying out of the open window, talking with him on the phone, while we were both puking at the same time.. Guys at the party called it "true love"..
I threw a dessert topping at a baby tonight so drink up! If you stay sober tonight I will be very disappointed in you.
he just fucked me for my cheese.
so he found out i have him as "average size" in my phone. fair to say we arnt going to be dating anymore
It's like a donut of clothes around a pair of heels. Like they were transported to another dimension naked.
Randomize
