did you get engaged???
closing bar tabs have helped me with simple math in college.
Just getting around to doing laundry. Jesus there's a lot of blood on my birthday dress.
I love having a boyfriend. I just ate pancakes with regular syrup and chocolate syrup, I havent shaved my legs in a week, and Im still going to get laid tonight.
fuck. you.
My vagina hasn't been this smooth since I was 8. I better get laid tonight.
You coming bye my yot got egg sweet carilne vodklaa
We found you on the floor drooling you kept saying over and over how you were double jointed.
omg dinner turned into a foam party this is weiriiid
that's the best thing i've ever said to a penis
this probably sounds so sketchy, but hes going to jail in a month so he needs a place to crash for now. Hes sick though, and hes paying half our rent
i woke up soaking wet with shard of glass imbedded in my flesh dangerously close to my dick what happend?!!
BEER BOTTLE SWORD FIGHTHING!!
And my parents said I crawled through the house
Too stoned. Randomly can't get the image of Emilio estevez's smiling face out of my head. What is life.
He finger blasted me like an angel dude
I did put on a shirt to start the night, right?
Randomize
