Why dose there have to be another girl there for you to do this?
its hotter. Way hotter.
i think i would be more confident if i were chinese.
he asked me to put his condom on because he couldn't see without his glasses
Double fisting Gray Goose bottles. We've officially ruined her.
all i know is that each time we woke up we were at a different chinese restaurant. help.
They both just did a shot, head butted each other, did another shot and then slapped each other in the face. These could be the two guys we've been looking for all our lives
Just checked my phone. Sometime last night I googled sex positions in a tent. Was there even a tent there?
Oh I already celebrated valentine's day. I stayed up until 4 AM listening to biggie, drinking rum, and caressing all my girl curves in front of the mirror. And then I came 3 times.
She keeps telling me I can't keep feeding the dog my food. I gave half the weed brownie to the dog and half to me. I just want it to taste the greatness of cheezits like I am.
Fell twice in five points. on my face. literally during a cross walk. The cars just went around me. 21st birthday memories right there
Time to eat Mexican food til I hate myself.
That's completely alright, I do it a lot.
You're about wine.
Yes, I'm like 90% wine at the moment
I just got fingered in the Win-Co parking lot for pills. How's your meltdown going?
And you are going to be so turned on by my batman skills later
The ass gains better be worth it
Randomize
