we both passed out while playing beer pong, woke up in the morning and continued to play coffee pong to cure our hangovers
im trying to pick out the cookie crumbs from my adderall. it is a lot harder than it seems.
He made me cum so much, I almost let him spend the night. The operative word being "almost".
All I know is that either you or I told a black guy that he looked like usher and he was sexy and that is our confession
I have stripper ass cheeks all over my glasses
She who has the vag holds all the power. He will learn one way or the other.
He asked her to marry him and she said yes. There is NO WAY she knows about his penchant for wearing lingerie.
You know what's awkward? Being with your girlfriend and seeing her ex-boyfriend that she left for you while you've got a Ron Burgundy level awkward boner.
His roommates came in the room and were throwing snowballs at us while we were hooking up.
I think it's getting serious, we started a jigsaw puzzle together.
Why do I have a separate credit card just for booze? Because I saved enough points so Saturday we are flying to Denver to smoke legal weed and fly back in the same day.
I'd have to have a ring. Like I don't want to be called "the ex girlfriend that shit on me"
I am so horny that I an legitimately concerned for your safety when I see you tonight.
If everyone felt the happiness from apple crown royal we would be in a better place
Dude, she was there with her husband and I was there with my wife. Of course we banged in the bathroom.
Randomize
