I walked up to her and said hello and wanted to ask her if she had fun last night... she asked me if we had met before.
fuck. did you have to draw it on me with a permanent marker
I'm watching Terminator eating a jar of marshmallow fluff. Trust me, you are not fat.
if i die of alcohol poisoning tonight, just know i kinda expected it and totally deserved it
New Years Resolution for 2011 : QUALITY cock. Not quantity.
Just woke up with a blunt in each nostril and a lighter duct taped to my chest...good lookin out
I HAVE stop dating guys for their prescriptions, you have no idea how awkward family dinner was. Thank god for his xanax.
I got to see some gay bartender let a girl with daddy issues whip Travis in the balls with his own belt. Totally worth it.
So ran into your ex from sophomore year last night... Apparently hes gay and a stripper now. we all got lap dances because we knew you
It was like a Thanksgiving meal, which you spend 8 hours cooking, and the family wolfs down in 20 minutes. All that flirting and build-up for like 90 seconds of pumping and he was gone in a flash, never to be heard from again.
I was full on naked standing in his room and I just said "this isn't me" and left.
Shia LaBeouf arrested in austin for public intoxication. JUST DO IT
Haha I had a heart to heart with a stripper so I would say it was a success?
Well I'm glad your Saturday night went a lot better than mine. I spent mine crying in a McDonald's parking lot.
I'm tired of you and your emotional constipation. WHY DO YOU CLOSE YOUR EYES WHEN WE MAKE LOVE!?
Randomize
