This cookie i'm eating tastes like pizza. It was so worth contacting my sister for pot.
sometimes when i'm walking through campus i wonder how many of these people have seen me puke
I just found out my favorite drunk show, Repo Men, is just reenactments. I can't express through words my disappointment.
There are lots of gay asians. This is better than i was expecting
i think they forgot i was still in the room... she grabbed his balls and said "i feel a fire coming on".
Remember don't think of it as being an alcoholic until something bad happens.
Think of it as Mythbusters for people who say you're going to get arrested or die
I'm hurting so bad I actially had to wait for my mini wheats to get soggy before I could eat them..
Pizza and koolaid didn't even make me feel better. This hangover means business
lonely sunday drunk me decided to tweeze my pubes. HORRIBLE IDEA
Did my married ex-boyfriend really tell me that he prays for me? Fucking Judas
My tongue is raw from licking all that salt with my tequila shots...happy cinco de mayo
Dude I was walking down the street and threw up in a plastic cvs bag. Tequila wins again.
There's something really beautiful about walk of shaming past the Capitol.
Why was I lying under a truck last night?
Status: mom bitching about grandma not shutting the fuck up, while not shutting the fuck up. Dear Jesus give me strength or more bourbon.
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