Also my back is semi rug burned and I'm holding you fully responsible.
I would love to give you more rug burn
his mom walked in while I was blowing him. he turned around in panic and accidentally punched me in the face. i have a black eye and only half the clothes i came here in. can you give me a ride?
I'm drunk. And at a vegan cafe. You would hate it. Don't tell my hipster friend but I kinda hate it too.
I just remembered I gave a homeless man a ride to his bridge last night.
Your sister got a Brazilian yesterday. It looks great
Well, we missed our public lewdness court date. Looks like were going to jail in Alabama ...
I woke up to him eating cereal out of my viking helmet with a shot glass. No idea where he got the milk.
Take your time, they're doing body shots off the dog.
I am trying to take a picture of a man in a wheelchair trying to ship a michael jackson portrait
I woke up to half of the whiskey bottle gone, and apparently I showered in my clothes. Pretty good start to SB2015 I'd say?
HE BEAT A GUY WITH NOTHING BUT RAZZLE DAZZLE AND HIS FABULOUSNESS
If the smell of things stopped me from putting things in my mouth. I wouldn't be popular with Grindr guys.
I thought we agreed to no sexting at the school bake sale...
I was 40 minutes late to work today because I was getting fucked. Walked in to discover that it's apparently performance review day. Employee of the year.
On a scale of one to 10 how Risky is it to sleep with a married man (all morals set aside)
Randomize
