Don't you send me to vm
Right on... I dropped my chapstick
I blacked out
I call biggest shit show at the party. I welcome all challengers.
we dont know what were doing after yet. first up we have 90 beers and a party kit and fun hats.
But why is there no point in liking him? Does he have herpes? Is he married? Is he gay? Did he get his penis chopped off in a freak accident? If the answer is no to all of the above, then he is fair game
just got passed by a van of kids watching the little mermaid. debating speeding so i can watch
Didn't u have court just yesterday for ur driving?
IT'S THE LITTLE MERMAID! totally worth another year of probation
Tim said I dropped my taco in a puddle and still ate it.
Tried to dry my shoes in the oven last night.
Well im sitting on a futon on a porch at 1:30 in the afternoon drinking boxed wine out of a pint glass next to a chick with a homemade neckbrace. What do you think?
IT'S A HOLY FESTIVAL. A BUDDHIST CELEBRATION OF PENIS.
I don't think I will ever be as happy about anything as this man next to me on the bus eating Taco Bell.
Also he didn't buy condoms after we ran out last week. Luckily I had one, but I told him he should be more optimistic about getting laid
We kinda got asked to leave the strip club and on the way out, you fell again. When you finally got up we got a standing ovation from the girls behind the bar and you took a bow. It was awesome.
well I didn't shave for the hot dilf I banged last week so I'm sure as hell not shaving for you. Sry
Just realized tomorrow is the anniversary of the time Dean and I glued DJ's leg back together with Neosporin and an Ace bandage. I'm bringing red velvet cupcakes to the party to celebrate.
Randomize
