Do vagina's smell?
he just payed for our date, after telling him I was leaving early to meet my fuck buddy. is there something lower than friendzone I can stick this guy in?
Pre-order weed for 4/20 and i'll give you a discount.
You were running around with scissors offering people free haircuts.
at some point i feel off my bar stool straight into the arms of a gay guy. just my luck.
I've officially done it all, fucked a girl wearing a twister board. ABC parties are amazing!
Occasionally I curse my inner 15 year old when I'm fulfilling their dreams as a slut, but I roll with it.
Oh Brad. Your poor brain, always being ignored for your penis and crazy women.
I'm washing down the sadness with shots of vodka.
I totally have a huge crush on him though which is fucking up my "classy she-demon with limited feelings" vibe
Fuck baseball, getting drunk and playing with kittens is the REAL national pasttime
Apparently I have decided there are no repercussions for my actions
We got stoned and took selfies with the most perfect lawn
Yeah come over whenever. Weed gets here at 8.
I'll be there at 7:59.
I just puked on the sidewalk. At 11am. Thought you'd like to know.
Just found out I lit my hair on fire last night.
Randomize
