why do all canadians talk like horny gerbils are stuck in their throats?
Important life lesson - flammable and inflammable mean the same thing
Found out that it IS actually possible to get road head from somebody in the back seat
We're not even buying beer. Just vodka. In pre-retrospect this was a bad idea but we're doing it anyway
Tough to be a good wingman when you puke on yourself and everyone w/in a 5 ft radius at the FIRST bar we go to so don't tell me to step my game up
You were so high you insisted on spoon feeding me your KFC bowl while I was driving.
Was who let the dogs out playing?
Ya. You started barking when it ended
I'm imaging you naked, covered in butter. And I gotta say, I'm not impressed.
The less fucks you give, the more fucks you get. Kinda like "a penny saved is a penny earned" but with vagina.
SORRY BITCH CAN'T, TAKING SHOTS TO WHITNEY HOUSTON.
Nothing bonds a father and daughter like washing her puke off the front steps
If last night was a preview of 2015, I quit.
Hell no. Last time I used a Slip N Slide I ended up with bruised ribs, a broken fence and the hatred of a half naked girl with a sprained wrist.
I kinda forgave him after he laid next to me and rubbed my arm for four hours while I tripped balls.
Hey, what's the French word for when you meet your boyfriend's friend and you have that gut feeling that you smoked pot naked in a hot tub with him at a house party years ago?
Should I put the spider I likely swallowed in my sleep into my calorie tracker?
Randomize
