At an apparent methhead hillbilly bar and was smiling for a pic when one toothless wonder screamed "look at all them teeth"!
Can I ask u a weird question?
Sure
do u have the hershy squirts too?
ok think of it like jelly beans. if you can learn to like the licorice ones, youll always have lots of them because no one else wants them. its the same with fat chicks
its whatevr the fuvk you could ever want is wht it is. i dont wanna read. literacy? overated in my opinion. overated.
i walked in on him listening to enya, jacking off, and vomiting into a cup on his desk. are you serious.
There are about 5 pictures of my dog taking a dump on my camera and 20 of Brandon taking one for "comparison" reasons.
During breaking dawn, he leaned over and asked me why she would have to worry about her period since she essentially just married a walking super-absorbant tampon... It was the best way to ruin those movies for me.
By the way. I expect to test the theory of you running a mile drunk for memorial day.
I'm really stoned in my underwear. I probably won't make it to the bar.
As soon as he came we went to Dairy Queen. That drive through lady was very condescending about our "just fucked" ice cream.
Yes I did. Thanks. I was actually an hour and half early. I'm better at public transport than I thought. Guy behind me on the bus is also crying. We compared cry-snot. It was nice in a weird sad way.
I'm the only person who goes to break up a friends with benefits and comes out with a boyfriend
We took your mom out drinking and we wound up winning 18 games of Flip Cup. You have amazing genetics.
The cops spotted my on my walk of shame down the boardwalk and gave me a ride home. I'm starting to make a name for myself here.
Why I hate online dating: not even one day in and a 57 year old asks me to call him "Daddy."
Randomize