I know, he also has a fancy car to make up for his tiny penis
My little brother has some high school girls in my pool, it's like a jailbait buffet in my backyard
all ten of us were sitting in his room with the lights off and staring at his colorful moving screensaver for two hours. That high.
i knew i liked her after she chugged tequila, fell down the stairs and said "oh dont worry i knew it'd be faster this way"
I made friends with a raccoon. I pet it. Like I was Pocahontas.
So last week was the 4th time a girl cried after sex. I'm seriously doing something wrong
At what point did we decide It was a good idea t have a wheelbarrow race in the parking lot?
Everyone in the office is in total denial. I asked my boss what he did this weekend and he said "nothing much." But I know we were both thinking about the orgy.
i have 90 minutes to kick this food poisoning or josh's first experience with buttsex will be his last
Dave used his AAA card to get my car towed to my house so I could get drunk. Evil genius.
Currently studying Econ, while waiting outside current booty call's residence for him to return from the strip club. This is your fault.
If waking up at 6 50 pm every day and getting invited to go have sex as you wake up is what alcoholism is like I can get use to this.
Stop leaving buckets of wine at my house.
You wrapped yourself in tin-foil and told us you were Iron Man. I have pictures.
Your heart isn't making stupid decisions... your penis is outsmarting your brain. Stop fucking her!
Randomize
