Michael Jackson and Farah Fawcett are dead
NOOOOOOOO not MJ! Someone tell the paramedic to grab him by the heart and just "Beat it"
Braces and a neon one piece. She looks 15.
i'm in love
An alarm set every 45 minutes saying "FATTY" and one every afternoon saying "CASPER" every day until spring break is a foolproof plan to being bikini ready
Their bromance is so intense that they don't even eye-fuck when they see each other....they eye-make-love.
No flights in Europe due to the volcano erupting. God himself is telling me to spend 4.20 in Amsterdam.
i jsut feel off the bus, but its ok the driver let me back on. a woman hid her baby from me..
She pushed me over. She offered me a shot from her tits. We're good now
No if my life depended on you fingering me just let me die
when seducing a hipster, do you think taking a nude pic on a lomo-camera app would increase my chances? grainy off-colored boobs and telling him how much i like reading salinger?
He was kissing me at red light while his penis was in an aluminum beer bottle peeing..
Thanks for taking care of me. I hope I didn't pee in your car.
so I was eating out this girl who was wearing my pirate hat In an alley behind the bar last night and some girl walks up and takes a picture. apparently we had a crowd of about 10 and it turned her on so she just didn't tell me
i just wanna know who wrote "dibbz" on my ass?
we were waffle house and a lady told me her imaginary friend was sitting in the chair next to her. i don't feel so trashy now.
FUCK ME I smuggled weed onto a plane by accident
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