The guy dancing on me has three visible teeth. WHERE ARE YOU?
just had amazing sex with a girl I got caught with in second grade playing doctor. her examination is finallllly over
on a side note you can NOT make bong water out of a pear
It was a legit night tell he threw a snowball in the bar, thats when I knew it was time to go to the next bar.
I got a letter from the home owners association saying its against policy to have sex on the trampoline.
THERE IS A GOAT THERE IS A GOAT IN MY BED IT IS EATING MY THONG WHAT DID YOU DO
Welp, dad and I drunkenly sang Christmas carols until the police told us to stop. I vote Xmas eve a success
Got home to the hotel 3hrs ago per texts sent not in english to not a full phone number
Nursing home in NJ just got busted for prostitution and drugs...dropping off my deposit tomorrow
I just got three pairs of underwear free and a bathing suit for $20 by modeling them and letting the salesman grope me a bit.
It's great being a young gay man in Chicago!
My head feels like Jesus is projectile vomiting hammers on it
She asked how comfortable I was with her while we were in the shower. She then proceeded to pee in said shower.
if i get arrested im counting on you to get a picture of it
Now I have to go back and sober fuck him. For science.
Is it totally acceptable to fuck a co-worker even though we don't speak the same language?
Why do you even have to ask me that question
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