well recently, every guy I have hooked up with has been economy sized
No, I don't think Michelle is a squirter. And if I've had anal sex, the Obamas have.
He asked if I wanted to blow his flute? Please call me and pretend there is a family emergency!!!
laughing at 16 and pregnant while fucking w/o a condom....
i always knew you were classy
Word to the wise: do not smoke before going grocery shopping with only 12 bucks. So stressful.
I can get head just about anywhere nowadays so that's not much of an incentive, coffee on the other hand...
Where are you and why am I suddenly responsible for your taquitos?
Yo. I have a shitload of cardboard. We have to build a smoke hut in the smoke room with a tunnel connected to a cat house. This way the kitty can join us whenever she pleases
I woke up with glitter in my wounds.
Bailing my boss from jail at five in the morning.. If thats not a promotion I don't what is.
I just took the kind of shit that makes your eyes well up with tears as you feel it moving inside of you... So cleansing.
As your only female friend, I feel the need to inform you that texts like these are why she dumped you.
My entire grocery store purchase consisted of Little Debbie snacks and Budweiser
He just said "I know you want my cock" and I said nah. I want food bro
U NO SLUT. YOUR HEART IS JUST FREE.
There are twenty eight units in that building. There has to be at least one heterosexual in it. You can't have fucked your way through all of it.
Randomize
