genius idea. im gonna paint my penis green like the serpent of sex
He started to notice that i sleep with every girl he calls dibs on.
I made out with him with my retainers in. My drunken hook-ups get lazier and lazier.
Dude, just look at these fucking curtains and chill out.
THIS IS THE EMERGENCY BOOZE SYSTEM. I AM EN ROUTE TO DEWITT WITH A FIFTH OF TEQUILA. THIS IS NOT A TEST
It's not meant to be. I also just shot a turkey baster of gin into Nate's eye, so....
I'll just have to do enough fangirling for the both of us. Nipples engaged.
OMG HIS EYES ARE POOLS OF SEX. HOT SEX.
Dude, those shrooms u gave me made me remember writing the bible. Fuckn awesome
Also I just had a flash back ... He told me I have nice nipples and then asked me about yours..
So I just bought e from my sophomore home ec teacher. How's your weekend going?
An d I'd rather cry while putting a waffle in my mouth than cry on my pillow, ya feel me?
My boss spotted an injured PIGEON outside the front door this morning (at 3:30am) and requested that I catch it and take it to the vet. Catch it with what! Take it where!These requests have gone too far...
Naw dude theres seriously a lobster in my sock drawer. Why?
It's like the perfect sandwich, once you find it you want to ensure your future access to it.
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