I just got a drinking merit badge from a slutty girl scout
i'm almost done photoshopping my face on his wife. it's a done deal
My internship group is made up of all freshman. Their enthusiasm for education and social interaction sickens me.
Liz is crying about burritos again.
Also 70% sure I have a splinter on my eyelid from last night
James is trying to butt-heads with a moose. I don't know whether I should stop him or just sit back and watch where this goes.
They're frat boys at heart and have sickly, dusty, rotting souls.
She climbed up the stairs with three brownies in one fist, two in the other, and one in her mouth. Also, she opened the bedroom door with her foot. I may be in love.
I'm still laying in bed cuz I don't feel like adulting yet
He said he didn't want to go down on me so I told him we were going to have an oral stalemate.
She was just trying to do dick voodoo. Pretty standard stuff.
It's wednesday. OF COURSE HE'S DRUNK.
sorry i got drunk at sunday brunch and force fed carrot sticks to your cat
I think next time I give head I'm gonna try making the chewbacca noise.
I look forward to it
I still dont see how i drunkenly impressed your mom
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