It was kinda weird being the boss
Did you feel like Tony Danza?
I can't get into him, he looks really young. I'd feel like I was blowing the Gerber baby.
i spent 15 mins trying to take money out of ATM with my drivers license saying, "what the fuckkkk" everytime it didnt work
We need to either start getting drunk more often or one of us need to start doin drugs
Wtf? Why?
I want awesome conversations to show the world.
I'm so sorry man. Roger cartwheeled into a signpost and cut his face open. it was pretty messy so we all went into panic mode.
The number of injuries I get impersonating Shakira while drunk is getting ridiculous. Sprained vagina, dude.
He's texting from midnight mass asking for nude pics. Baby Jesus is spinning in his manger as we speak
Just used an eyelash curler to open my beer since I didn't have a bottle opener. Things are starting to look up.
I will have to bone him sometime between now and July so he will move all my shit again
I fucked him while wearing his hat. I love the navy
I'm no doctor but I don't think balls are supposed to look like that.
I'm feeding a baby and swiping on tinder...what has my life come to?!?!
its the 14th virginity that counts the most anayways
You make me want to do things that I'm pretty sure are illegal.
Your dick. My mouth. We have 20 minutes.
Randomize
