you kept spraying the cat with water and then telling it to "man up" when it cried
Dude manswers just said that a guy can only cum up to eight times in one day. I'm gonna prove that show wrong.
ha well at least you have goals.
They just both started mumbling "i cant go home like this" "it's all over my face" "do you have extra pants?"
I don't really know how to say this, but I have an oven mitt to return to you tomorrow..
it's taken me 3 hours to eat this pudding cup. I think I am melting.
I mean technically the bite was both in my nose and on the outside of it. I thought I was going to need stitches or something.
Why was his mouth around your nose anyways?
It was just one of those nights, man.
It made me want to take you home, put you in footie pajamas and feed you spaghettios
Oh I see how it is...you can snap chat the world your balls but I wear dinosaur feetie pajamas and I'm the "weird one"
Let's celebrate our freedom by getting high and doing stupid shit.
Just went to court for a citation. Guess who my DA was? That girl I ATM'd last weekend. No ticket for me!
Good friends chat about sex - great friends ask about safe words.
Just found out that my name comes from part of my mom's old stripper name.
I have just received a gold-medal-deserving sext. He wrote me a fucking novel. Not only am I incredibly turned on but I am beyond impressed. He is the sext god. I must bow to him.
What can I say, like your penis. The fact that I like the person attached to it helps too
I refuse to take any type of advice let alone love advice from a motherfucker who is missing 3 fingers from a Fucked up masturbating accident.
Randomize
