I hate it when I can only see straight when I close one eye. I feel like that deserts the purpose of seeing with two eyes
I thought that since they were twins... they would be equally as good in bed
dude i just figured out that the tostitos sign is two people eating chips and salsa. being high totally pays off sometimes
I don't think you have the libido for two women at the same time
I think you underestimate the amount of time spent masturbating
I WALKED myself out of breath. And I'm lost I'm a Tim Hortons parking lot. That's how hungover I am.
how bad is she
captain morgan with tits
FYI, grandma is already drunk and using a bed sheet as a table cloth.
How can I politely yet provocatively ask you for a cock shot?
OMG. Dad just threw a 100 dollar bill down on the table for a girl to lift her shirt. I think he was kidding, but...
I should rephrase... I'm trying to not sit on other peoples faces besides my boyfriends.
The other day I was really high and I felt like my words were coming out of my mouth in flowers...I don't know.
I wish so many great beards were not attached to even greater jerks. All that face sitting potential wasted. Some of the greatest tragedies of this century.
She woke up next me in bed and told me to stop driving so fast.
He listens to me complain and in return I send him naked pictures. It's a win win situation
Saw my doctor at the bar. He bought me a drink. I think he was looking up my medical record on his phone because he suddenly had to go. syphilis continues to fuck with my life
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