I can't find my pants or my car
I didn't even hookup I think I took them off at taco bell...
ha omg I always lose my dignity at taco bell as well... so no big deal.
we've reached the level in our friendship where i don't think he would rape me
It was like his mom forgot to breastfeed him and he was making up for lost time.
went to the gyno and found out that i have a birthmark on my clit. its like god gave guys a little help when it comes to getting me off.
Is it weird if I ask my drug dealer to prom? Be honest.
She's making tacos & sangria tonight. I'm sure that's how the pilgrims pregamed.
What can I say, we hook up during the holidays.. We're a seasonal couple
Bruises. Everywhere. Table sex is dangerous
She gave him a lap dance on the glass table. You can guess how that ended
In all fairness I didnt see your dick because it was already in her
I woke up in solitary confinement, wheb they moved me the guy that sold me the pill of Molly at the concert was in the police waiting room, we nodded to each other.
My ex was there, the 2 girls I'm seeing showed up and I had a pocket full of VIP passes 2 the strip club. Had all the makings of an epic night but I fell asleep at the bar.
She was purple for Halloween. She literally spray-painted herself purple and called it a costume. It won't come off.
This is what my life has come to. Like, I may or may not have just stolen pizza from the guy I just hooked up with's fridge when I left...
my roommate would be appalled if she knew how many times i've peed in the kitchen sink
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