he kept bringing up different times we had sex and i wouldnt say anything back. i would never confirm nor deny the situation...like a politician ya kno
This whole foot fetish thing is getting out of control. He would rather hold my feet than me after we fuck.
The saltiness of my tears mix perfectly with the tequila.
My google history shows every combination of "red lobster cheesy biscuits" possible.
Ok, let's play "if you were a slut" again and try and retrace our steps last night..
I think the main reason you were throwing up so much was the quart of soap you chugged trying to burp bubbles. you came close
On monday, while we were having crazy monkey sex, I earned $82. Vacation pay rocks.
and let me tell you something, handcuffs are surprisingly uncomfortable when they arent being used in a sexual manner
I just realized I'm the burger in your burger and steak anology. Very disconcerting.
Idk man, she was drunker than me and i was sitting there talking to a raccoon about it's broken leg.
This guy is clearly nuts his idea of a hangover cure is a six pack poured into a camelpack then hiking 3 miles with a weighted vest. He said "learned it in the army i guess drink beer beat the heat"
Why is there a cash register on top of my car?
Literally, and I mean LITERALLY as in "not to be confused with a casual hyperbole", LITERALLY the day we broke up she slept with 3 different guys that night.
1) It's nice to see that the whole "English Major" thing is upping the quality of your rants 2) Have you considered that your dick was the cork holding her sluttiness in?
New holiday tradition. Eat all the Xanax in the am, then wake up later after festivities and eat all the leftovers
i just used your hair clip to unclog my bong. i miss you so much!
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