So apparently when he was telling people he was in Alaska for 6 months he was actually in jail
So many stories. To uyou are sober. I heart you though. Jesus. Dirrty dancing jusyt came oine!!no. Lie.
Oh, I forgot to ask if u have any idea what happened to the back of my ear and if u were present when I almost fell off the roof...
You text him a porn site address and said GOODBYE ... I think he got the hint
And, through a series of unfortunate events, I am at my grandmothers birthday party in a short dress and no underwear
I understand that just don't try to seduce me while making frozen pizza again.
You came into my room and started rubbing a banana on your face.
So are we just not going to talk about the time I came home to you jerking it in the kitchen?
so the kid in line in front of me at walmart just bought roses and a Plan B pill. Happy Valentines Day.
It's one PM on a Saturday and I'm sitting here drinking Jack, eating a block of cheese and playing Minecraft. Please tell me you can come drag me to a bar.
Her boyfriend offered to buy me a vibrator. I'm not sure how to feel about that.
I would definitely ride that dick into the sunset if nuggets are involved
National tequila day this year falls on a Monday. I've never been more disappointed in my life.
Ill try not let guys feel my boobs for free drinks next time, no promises tho. I am my boyfriends worst nightmare.
Omfg 7 hour sex session who am I?
PS: I think I'm in love
Ability to walk tomorrow tbd
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