May have just accidentally purchased an iphone on Kate's credit card. This has potential to be bad.
I typed "housewife" into monster.com's search engine....I got zero results...kinda bummed
Is your delayed response due to the massive amount of judging going on?
i either just walked in on pete wacking off to webmd or he was checking his dick for herpes
Fuck buddy has no power. Invited her over to use my shower. I love hurricaines.
You kept tellin the cashier that this order was "To Go" over and over...even tho we were in the drive-thru
he grabbed my head and said "you are a horse. I am leading you to water" pushed it down and whispered "Drink."
Don't let her tell you any different. She licked the balls of my hamster for that $100. It was a group bet. She won.
He told me the escort brought him pizza. Can something be sad and awesome at the same time ?
It's 4/20 of course I'm going to smoke in the portapotty and be ripped outta my mind at the lung cancer walk.
I told him he was like my favorite pair of jeans; I may not wear them every day, but I'll never get rid of them and they make my ass look fantastic. Needless to say he was not thrilled.
You brought string cheese to the strip club
I can't decide if I'm depressed or if this is just what life without a bidet feels like.
My books smell like weed. What does that tell you about my college experience?
Thumbs up
Long story short wrist restraints, Apple Watch and cumming all don’t mix
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