Someone's got a whale tail
A thong is hangin out?
No, a fatty following them
Yeah i mean there's 3 guys fighting over me. It would just be bitchy of me not to get with at least 1.
Too much gin, very little bucket
Someone just uploaded pictures on facebook of you making out with random girls. I'm telling you because I'm assuming you don't remember anything, but the 236 pictures in the album should give you a good clue.
he asked me to smell his eyeballs.
Sunburnt clitoris. How do I deal with it.
He warned me he may piss the bed. I'm oddly okay with this.
If we get out of this alive, I'm never going to a Denny's at 3 am again.
I resisted the urge to announce that it looks like a big crystal butt plug
NO. FUCK YOU. I HOPE SOMEONE REPLACES YOUR LUBE WITH HOT SAUCE.
You'll never fully grasp an awkward walk of shame until you run into his mom while you're trying to sneak out. Then to make matters worse you have to ask her to mover car because it's blocking you in.
and I lost my effing shirt.
On a scale of 1-10 I’m at biblical violence
We are taking a shrt nap on the sidewalk cme fine me if you want but dont wake me up
Stopping for a booty call on the way to a lunch date... Bad form?
I ran into the marine at the grocery store. Its like my vag and his penis have this way of finding each other when I least want it.
Randomize
