I would have done the walk of shame but I couldnt walk
i nerd-gasmd. plain and simple.
She was sucking his dick at Seacrets outside bar in front of all of us...her friends kept coming over crying and yelling "Tiffany stop it"
not only did i manage to get kicked out of the bar, i also got kicked out of denny's. i didnt even know that was possible.
thanks for brining me home and putting me in my bed. the pillow fort your built around me is also appreciated.
This girl caught me staring at the cat but stroking the computer because it was closer, which is why I hate blunts.
I figured you left because I was a shit show. Were you still there when I got locked in the bathroom and didn't know where I was? If not, that could have been a dream. I'm still not sure.
Made a pinky promise to a lesbian on crack in WeHo. No one knows what I promised
if a girl cums in a dorm room and no one hears it did it really happen?
This is what happens when you leave: I get all vulnerable and I make out with the cowboy to shut him up about Jesus.
Do you think they'll deliver pizza to my mouth
No one needs to know about the barren wasteland that is my vag. Sometimes i visualize my cervix rocking back and forth wondering where everybody went.
I just pictured that. It's reading a book.
I just destroyed that poor boy. Picked him up and put him wherever I wanted, it was like the Pride version of Elf on a Shelf.
Dude I just woke up naked on the floor with my dick in a boot. Legit in a fucking boot. I also have no idea where I am.
NOT PREGNANT according to the two dollar tree pregnancy tests I took in the tacobell bathroom. Come meet me at tacobell for celebratory soft tacos.
Randomize
