How drunk are you??
I'm flawless.
You should dream of me :)
I'm going to dream of single life.
Yes but life is bad with poopy sheets
Apparently the library doesn't care about celebrating the day Jesus became a zombie.
She woke up with blood running down her face and asked the EMS guy where the keg was
Just fucking put out. It'll be a good lay, promise. Stop being a prude. Damn it. A boy is trying to put his penis in you. APPRECIATE IT.
You just sent me a picture of a federal crime. Like. You don't give a fuck.
Reading an example in the GRE study book referencing Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles while wearing TMNT pajamas. *airfist*
omg please tell me you're eating pizza right now too.
ditto.
about cumming, not toast
I tried smoking while wearing a horse mask, it was the worst thing I've ever smelled
I was out of breath when we were getting started and he offered me his inhaler so he's a keeper
I told my dad that he was in a band and he was all like " good job" and then he looked up the band and listened to their music and just went " oh have you disappointed me"
So I paid Bumble $10 to see who liked my profile for a month. Cheap, easy dick. It's all about the economics, yo.
I'll give you some leg action but I'm not showing you anything else until your penis admits it loves me
He's the one named Andrew. In his profile picture he is the one on the right in the monkey costume.
Randomize
