You dont understand. she was my french AND spanish teacher. that's 2 kinds of freaky. i have to find her on facebook.
the bank didn't screw up, i spent 150$ at mcdonalds last night
Im doing shots of vodka in the bathroom covered in pillows.
Tornado warnings are fun!
He asked the clerk if they sell a penis-shaped brander.
when someone at the bar asked you a question all you knew how to say was "chug-a-lug"
It's awesome, he has so much more free time now that he's not screwing other girls behind my back
No but I was fuckin done when I realized my acrylic nail caught fire when I was hitting the bong.
its the pipe that keeps on giving. Just when I think it's done, I scrape just enough. It's a st. Patrick's day miracle!
I just forgot I was standing up.
I'm sobbing to NWA
I didn't have anyone to cheers so I tapped my beer on your fish tank... a little too hard
Whenever I have a bad day I just look at the negetive pregnancy test I keep in my purse and remind myself things could be alot worse.
I just realized now that I slept with him while he was still wearing the maid costume... I've reached a new level of sexual freakness.
Ahhh the shame of taking out my recycling
The viagra-rita was a sexual success and a furniture failure. He said it was the best cowgirl sex he’s ever had even with the broken couch
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