Okay, I have a threesome with foreigners and suddenly I'm a man-whore
my clit piercing makes the metal detector go off
His internet history had "Disney Porn" on it.
He used his penis as a puppet and sang Rihanna's Hard..... so no, we will never see each other again.
I drunkenly called my ex on Skype last night and didn't talk, just smiled real big at him until I fell asleep.
He came over to use the microwave, said he needed to heat up some urine.
I'm sorry, you're actually right. Ostrich racing happens, and they're ridden like a horse. Bewildered and distraught.
I was wondering why he was in my phone as "Cat Guy", he seemed pretty normal. Then when we woke up he was wearing a shirt with a picture of his cat on it. The name stays.
HE WAS DRESSED LIKE A FISHERMAN AND HE WAS LIKE OH SHIT I THINK I JUST FOUND THE DEADLIEST CATCH i couldnt not go for it my honour compelled me
Considering who their parents are, maybe you should use vodka for the baptism.
I got sprayed in the face with titty milk and I'm still so traumatized
She just kept screaming and saying "fucking you is like fucking a mountain"
they are cutting me off...little do they know I am making a 75 yr old man i named Herbert buy me drinks now...no shame at 11 am...
I don't like kids.
You were literally holding a baby 5 minutes ago
I like them before they learn to speak and after they learn to think.
I have to touch the horse lube. :-(
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