I would do horrible things to your vagina.
Prove it.
Well I'm going to a gay club in my banana suit. You should come. My bro is going as a pirate. I don't know if there's a theme.
this girl literally referred to her butthole as her "back pussy"
champagne bombs. Yes, i think that is where things may have gotten out of control.
I fucked him in a hamburger. literally. he has a hamburger bed.
There's nothing like vomiting in the restroom at work to remind you that you're not in college anymore.
I'm trying to spell out I love you with a series of photos of my penis, but I just realized I can't do the Y of you
I know. My only sports are biking to buy drugs and running from the police.
I'm very fluent in vodka, but that seems to be a whiskey dialect.
She kept saying how cute and adorable I was. I felt like a care bear getting a blowjob
my heart is telling me chinese, but my head is telling me beer.
Well I woke up and my arm was bleeding. And my blood is on the wall in the hallway.
Umm
No idea. I blame fireball.
Valid.
There's no discreet way to sneak a cucumber into the shower lol
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like running into your ex boyfriend at the liquor store at 3 in the afternoon.
i woke up fully clothed with teenage dream on repeat. something is wrong with me
Randomize
