I'm calling you out on twitter if you don't come over right now.
I think I'm going to go home and read The Bible.
Did yall have sex?
Well we both woke up naked and there was a condom wrapper on the floor, but I don't remember so does that count?
Def not... that's how I managed to keep my number under 10 for all of college- If you don't remember, it didn't happen
She rubs her butt on the bed & then she growls..
I was high enough to understand and function with 'flip' while playing brick breaker
Damn. I don't think I could ever be that high.
im not gonna bother asking u how it was... we could hear u through the walls
Nicole, you can't keep coming over at 3am wanting to build igloos.
I assume it was your influence that had me go from DD to waking up out on the deck with one eyebrow shaved off??
Dude, did you really "knight me" and tell me I had permission to bang your sister last night?
I told him to just roll me a blunt and put it in a heart shaped box.
I don't know what to say to that. All I know is my vagina is trying to jump through the phone.
BUT I'M ALSO ONLY IN IT FOR SEX AND HE CAN'T EVEN GET THAT PART RIGHT.LIKE LITERALLY ALL HE HAS TO DO IS DICK ME DOWN AND BE A DECENT HUMAN BEING IS THAT SO HARD TO ASK?!
I feel like a grown up and it scares me so I'm hiding out in the bathroom stall and messaging you
i love discovering the tokens of our drunkenness from the night before. it's like easter egg hunting. today: smashed pizza rolls in the sink.
Im not as flexible as I once was, but I still managed to get eaten out in the front seat of a hummer behind keddies.
Randomize
