For the record dan just proved he knows the first and last names of ALL the members of NSync. Jury is no longer out on his sexuality.
Living right is spending a lot of time in someone's ass
Any time before 12:00pm. Can go fuck itself.
the first call I got in the morning was from visa fraud prevention so yeah it was one of those nights
We've reached that awkward stage of the relationship where he's in love with me when he's drunk, but sober him is still afraid of commitment.
I just got home. Seriously all I remember is taking out my contacts and putting your balls in my mouth.
in case you havent found it already in honor of Toy story 3 we wrote ANDY on the bottom of your foot while you were passed out on the couch.
His body is just chiseled out of sex. I would let that man do anything to my body. Including fuck me while my parents watch
Thanksgiving. This year's theme: I am thankful that I still have a liver.
When you passed out on the kitchen counter she brushed and flossed your teeth, then carried/dragged you to bed. Why aren't you married?
The lady sitting right behind me on the bus has baby birds in her purse. Shes feeding them bugs from a cup with a pair of tweezers... I love san francisco!
The great part about clubs is that you can fart everywhere and nobody knows! The bad part is I'm on e and i have nobody to fondle.
wanna come over? I have movies.
sure, what movies
porn or disney, your choice
I'm full of champagne and rage, of course I'm showing up at his house.
Well. At least he's a gentleman. A gentleman satanist.
Randomize
