i hope your v-card owns a pair of floaties
i never thought it was possible to fit gay, redneck and asian into the same sentence before i met you.
and this wasn't even the first one i'd hooked up with
You suck. You're fired. I need to find a less reasonable voice-of-reason.
yeah, we figured out that passing a joint between cars was a pretty bad idea
you know u lost to a carboard cut out of sammy sosa in beer pong last night.
3 things. 1) we need alcohol 2) we need alcohol 3) we need tortilla chips. Let's make a plan. Bro shakes and salsa.
I hate that he uses me for something other than sex. What does he think I am? His girlfriend? Ha.
Some guy thought i was the waitress and handed me his credit card. drinks on me.
Idk every story shes told me thats started with "back when i was a lesbian" has been my new favorite story
Here's the thing, you got road head in two different cars tonight. You feel lucky yet?
Taking my underwear off at work was one of my better decisions this weekend
SO HELP ME GOD THERE IS A SPIDER IN THIS PIZZA. IT IS VERY SMALL IT IS INSIDE THE CRUST AND IT IS ALIVE. I'M SO HUNGRY DO I KEEP EATING
Well I either feel like the fat girl or very accomplished because his bed is now broken in three places
Under no circumstances is tits McGee to make that kind of decision about my life!
I would really like it if you guys got out of my bush
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