But if ***** wants to get filthy... Tell her to throw a text my way ;)
dude your cousin who was wearing the skirt wasn't wearing any underwear
gross she's a slut
yea she doesn't shave either
Taking shots out of pine wood derby trophiesssssss. best idea ever.
So you have no knowledge as to why I am hearing loud repetitive mooing from next door?
There's a warrant out for his arrest for throwing a mannequin through a bus stop.
Also, I threw up on the playground again. I've honestly had more fun there this past summer than I did in my entire childhood.
I'd like to say yes, but I nearly lost my shit when I assumed there was no back to my house. I am not strong enough for hallucinations.
This conversation has now reached a level of awkward that even a passerby streaking hobo couldn't break.
We have such limited time together he literally sends me text messages that are like "I sent my roommates on an impossible quest, we have 15 minutes." it's that bad.
When we got home I apparently addressed everyone as 'peasant' since it was my birthday, this followed by me demanding for my "peasants to wash me".
Did we seriously just get into a fist fight over kit kats?
He makes balloon animals that get you high? Hell yeah invite him over!
I'm sorry for drunkenly throwing a spoon at you and then laughing at your pain.
It's Christmas. You could splurge on something a LITTLE fancier than wine in a box.
This is why people in Buffalo die of heart attacks. This and wings
Randomize
