Say something about gay babies.
he is not the type of person you only have sex with once. god adds years to your life every time you sleep with him.
So he says he needs "alone time" a day that he doesnt have to deal with anyone. should i be concerned?
I think in guy language thats " Im fucking someone else and dont want u catching me"
Waitress cut us off at Chili's bar. New low
all we ever talk about is how much i like your dick or my drug problem.
I am sitting on my kitchen floor drunk with a bottle of jose cuervo, tryin to make cinnamon rolls and write a paper. I love college
if your not going to answer your phone this is just going to be an embarrassment tomorrow
she crawled under her car and passed out. Unfortunately her feet were sticking out and someone called 911 because they thought she had been run over.
I don't care how fucking drunk you are, you don't forget wanting to shove a wine bottle up someone's ass.
Kripsy Kremes at our place, bring your own coffee. And your own donuts because these ones are ours.
There must be a happy medium universe where you get it on with my girlfriend enough to cause me pain but not a full on cardiac arrest. It's a fine line to tread though.
Masturbating with Lord of the Rings on was not how I planned my afternoon going but here I am.
I walked in to you guys using a milk jug as a gravity bong
Surrounded by smaller versions of the same
andy told me i got kicked out of the bar and was so drunk i forgot and got back in line. the bouncer was zero impressed
Thank you for always being there for me.
Sorry wrong derek... Do u have any weed?
Randomize
