i just rode the bull and i see vomit in my future.
After they won there was a guy outside Magee Hospital yelling "name your kid Sidney"... that guy may or may not have been me.
4 maple syrup blunts. Decided to sit on my roof and count the snowflakes that landed on my tongue. 84.
Ok, let's play "if you were a slut" again and try and retrace our steps last night..
Just got tipped $5 for distracting some dude's gf while he got another girl's number. Bro-code at its finest.
Do you think royal wedding drunk calls for wine or tequila?
OK WHO CHANGED MY RING TONE TO LADY AND THE TRAMP AND CHANGED EVERY CONTACT IN MY PHONE TO 'SOME GUY I FUCKED'?
I think it says something about my life when I start picking up girls while im in rehab. And I don't think it's good.
I'm not entirely sure how getting 'house drunk' turned into us getting trashed, being serenaded by karaoke and going out. But it needs to happen again.
My heart stopped for a sec, but I snorted what I believe was cocaine off the floor, and I'm back in the fight
Remember that girl from my stats. class that I ran into at the bar 2 weeks ago? She literally hasn't been to class once since I told her I sit behind her.
There's no sexy way to moan the name Ernest. Or Ernie. This relationship is fucked
My party ended early and I have a mountain of shrimp and weed
Totally reading about penis envy for my final exam
I just had a legitimate orgy. Wearing glowsticks.
Randomize
