The new Black Eyed Peas song is the stupidest shit I've heard since the last Black Eyed Peas song.
I really like you, but I want to get to know you on a time when I am not at drugs.
So apparently when he was telling people he was in Alaska for 6 months he was actually in jail
Protocol on turning down a date from someone in the House of Representatives?
I won't drink with you again until you promise to not feed me anymore paper bags
It looks like a tornado ripped through our living room and scattered clothes everywhere.
Count the bras. It was a category 3 whorenado ... I convinced the lesbians to come back to the apartment for a bottle of wine.
I just baptized the girl next to me. LONG LIVE THE CHURCH OF VODKA
If I was 5 years younger and single...
She STILL wouldn't fuck you.
Is it just me, or do you see your penis in that hand?
I appreciate you letting me know that the bird died but why didn't you do something about the corpse? or at least give me a heads up that it was still in the cage..Jesus
you have no idea how hungover I am. I can't deal with death right now.
I think you might be the first man ever to describe getting a blowjob as "neat"
So? Find me, fuck me, then you can go to sleep and I'll leave.
Wow. That's the most amazing thing anyone has ever said to me.
I wanted to say "you're a souless cunt" but in a nice way. So I added a smiley face.
I smell like Dick and happiness
....even the bartender was embarrassed for her
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