Now hope fervently that she'll do it quick and cheap, just the way i like it
the guy I was hooking up with asked me if he could wear a guerilla suit during sex.
Betty ford says i'm here all night
epic walk of shame this morning involving 2 subway transfers. I need to start sexing locally.
you only had a canadian ten, but you said it was all good cuz you would just by molson.
Since when does wearing a condom and going down on me make someone a gentlemen?
you came in and threw goldfish on our blue carpet and screamed SWIM BITCHES and then made me drink a best friends potion with you
how did we ever eat at restaurants where they DIDNT squirt-gun tequila in our mouths?
Take my keys. Load me into the vehicle. Drive. Get food. Come back. These are my demands.
there's a barbecue in the shower. I'd like to know who got this to fit inside perfectly. impressive
Well still if someone cared enough about u to wish an unwanted child or a disease on u ..u must have been doing something right
I'm running on two hours of sleep, a shot of vodka, and half of a granola bar. I can't be held responsible for what I do.
I swear if he puts my hand anywhere near his dick tonight I'm "accidentally" leaving all my rings on
I'm a great relationship counselor. My vagina will let you know if your relationship is gonna work or not.
No I kepy moaning and just called out a name to make them believe I was actually having sex instead of masturbating.
Randomize
