When the moon hits your eye like a big pizza pie, you're a dumbass
Its like we are women, and boise state is a gangster rap song. This game is degrading
i slept with her, drove her to her sisters house to babysit, and then drove around the block where i met her sister and had sex with her in my van. I'm family Friendly!
Take this only to mean that we love you, but we're having a serious, half-hour, hypothetical discussion about how far we think we could throw you.
I feel like i could break down a fucking wall with this boner
Soooo, coming over soon?
Bad behavior is like a petri dish that grows organically In my heart
A pack of naked men just sprinted down the street screaming in German. It's 5 AM.
I let him watch sportscenter while we fucked. How did he repay me? I'm now missing class to get a shot in the ass for the clap. You and I are getting wasted and keying someone's car this weekend.
I say we go and bring jello shots with laxatives. 57% sure one of his toilets is broken
You handed me a red solo cup filled with vodka and Bacon. You called it the salty Russian.
I just wanna get hammered somewhere crazy. Meet some chicks. Bang them and then go scuba diving.
Please keep in mind you are asking relationship advice from a girl who fucked a guy just because we have the same name. Just keep that in mind.
I'm gonna be the best dressed mother fucker to ever get kicked out of that damn bar.
When you wake up to a porn star on your couch telling you, you better tell your boyfriend about last night.
I am witnessing a blind guy whip ass at beer pong
Randomize
