I want to do you till i cant cum anymore. Till all i get is a little flag that says "bang".
And nobody saved him?? That chick had like three teeth TOPS
congratulations to me i think I am on the road to legitimate alcoholism
cool. same. I'm in class drinking
NOT OKAY
sorry for partying
THATS NOT PARTYING THATS DRINKING IN CLASS
Those people having sex on the beach kept looking over at you guys throwing his shoes at the seagulls.
you are never too drunk for berry picking
He wanted to drink hypnotic from my butt crack. I need to move out this state.
He paid the bartender with money from the tip jar then proceeded to hit on me in front of my date. I love frat dances
So I come back home and a huge flock of enormous vultures are on my roof
They're waiting for you to die
After 7 months of nothing.. shall we throw your vagina a party? as its reinstatement into society?
I just puked in my courtyard and dripped toothpaste in my chest hair. You better be getting laid or this drunk is wasted.
Last night someone asked you what your favorite color was and you said "bagel."
She's really sweet and cute, but when she drinks, she becomes way too proud of her bush.
Blow jobs in the hobby lobby parking lot, oh lawd there gonna pray for me when they review those tapes ...
For me the most fucked up part of last night was that I know for a fact that you were sober. But your dancing was a close second.
is it bad that there is a girl in my bed right now and the only thing i can think about is the fect that its after 3am which means i cant order jimmyjohns unitll tomorrow?
Randomize