So all semester this guy and girl have been talking, and today is the last class and we are doing nothing. I would have skipped but I want to see if he seals the deal or pusses out. It's like a season finale.
When she showed me how she could touch her toes without bending her knees, suddenly her face didn't worry me quite as much.
At least drunk you showered before switching sex partners last night.
I'm shutting down my vagina temporarily...it's like the last two weeks were a going out of business sale...and now it needs a break...
It's all good. The CSI guy came and I played the theme song while he in was in our place. The cops even laughed.
after we were done she whispered to my dick "you sir, are a genius"
I guess all those years with her as your babysitter finally paid off.
You can jump from the roof to the pool. Trust me. I have done this before.
I was trying to get everyone to go to the bar but I puked on my hands, so nobody took me seriously.
Yeah, I've been trying to get him to eat healthier. Turns out he'll eat almost any fruit or vegetable as long I let him eat it off my body.
I had the most traumatic dream I've ever had just now. I ripped my dick off because a girl asked me to and spent the rest of the dream crying about my dick
You were passed out in the OutBack Bowl Shrimp costume and when we asked you wtf happened you just said On Wisconsin.
I always can't wait to see you but when there's also an opportunity to get naked it elevates to an entirely different level
I texted him back and I am so nervous I may vomit up all of the soup I just ate.
DO NOT FUCK YOUR ENGAGED GAY NEIGHBOR!
Holy. shit. Chris has no pants on. In public. Fuck. Need you.
Randomize
