Literal conversation "you are ________ ____. you facebook friended me"
sometimes i wish i was able to text my cat and tell him i miss him and that i'm thinking about him
Quick, to the slutcave!
new hobby: convincing random sorority girls around campus that we hooked up last weekend. i'm 2 for 5.
there is no way i'm buying plan b and condoms at the same time
no do it! it shows that you acknowledge your mistakes and you are proactively working towards a solution.
West Wing DVD drinking game: drink whenever they waqlk around a lot. I LOVE POLITICS SO MUCH
are you still mad that doritos made their way into my sex life
.....a litte
I lull them into a false sense of security with my gayness. Then when they're vulnerable, I strike, like a snake. A big non-gay snake, with huge balls.
Grandma can hear your bong from the living room, please be more quiet. Love mom.
who's job is it to make sure we don't run out of tp since the incident of 09'... Thats right you go get some
Can we just focus for a minute on the fact that I HAD MY FIRST LESBIAN ENCOUNTER.
Right. How rude of me to inform you that you're going to be an aunt.
After what I experienced at 6am this morning, all I can say is chew your noodles thoroughly.
Move ovrr Titanoc and all you others. Heres the real tale of woe. This ladys failed search for boozdy goodnezs.
I know where his drugs are but not my pants
Do you think if I had a tempurpedic bed he would still be able to feel me fingering myself after we have sex?
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