i was looking up hair salons in ithaca for the wedding and one is a hair salon/ sake bar! you can have sake or champagne while you get your hair done!
question, how would one sake-bomb while getting hair done without getting a horrible haircut?
Best feeling in the world? holding your pee all day for a negative preggo test
haha I love it when I find out that girls who were mean to me in middle school are now some random dude's baby mama. thanks, facebook.
I'm eating dry tortillas on a mattress without a sheet. and i thought my life would change after graduation.
I don't know why people felt they couldn't use the toilet with me passed out in the tub. I shut the curtain. It was like being in another room.
It smells like someone died in our apartment and ya'll used some random orifice of his body to smoke weed out of. Side note, how did we get a guitar?
Yea dude. I'm gonna be the life of the party. THIS BITCH GETS DRUNK BY HERSELF
Apparently drinking in your car before going into a sales meeting is frowned upon. We are car sales men not doctors.
What if he turns back to me, finds me seemingly fondling my breasts, and thinks I'm turned on by eagles?
Stop your judging. I got free booze AND an oil change. You're the one whose always saying we're spending too much money.
I just had a drunk lesbian experience.... How do I break it to my boyfriend??
Just convinced a housekeeper at work to set up her 401k. Gotta start hittin the gb every morning before work. Happy 420
Jesus Christ. How the fuck do you not tell someone that your wife can see on the phone bill who you text and how many times ?
It was fine. Until I accidentally shit on his floor.
Thanks for wearing matching bob ross shirts to the bar with me and referring to every guy as a happy little accident
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