i forgot how awkward it is to meet new people sober
I don't get why Lindsay Lohan doesn't just blame her bad behavior on her twin sister from the Parent Trap. I mean nobodys seen her since.
bad decision 37: pregaming the antique store
i don't care how ready and willing she is. she is where penises go to die
Ia nefed hefelkp i am a taxi
i don't know how it's possible. but i just bought groceries for a week with the money i made off returning empties
Is it bad that I recognize every dick in your dic pic collection?
I woke up with a dick pic from the ex-Mormon via email. Not really what I wanted to see before my first cup of coffee this morning, but I gotta say, I'm impressed.
Beer. Pizza. Seething Rage. I will be full of two of these things tonight. You get to decide which two.
Banged a guy with 2 broken arms once. Top that
You know its an epic night when omar the garbage man gives you a ride home at 6 in the morning.
she was sitting with her tits completely out.. on the kitchen floor..eating pickles by the handful... rapping mac dre... and then lit up a cig and continued...that drunk
Our Uber driver pulled over to show us Tinder some dick pics. Top that.
all i remember is walking home without my pants on... when i woke up i was sleeping in between my parents in their bed, no more whiskey wednesdays
I couldn't find my contact solution so I thought mixing toothpaste and water would work
Randomize
