You had a beer at 10:30 this morning?
Ya, I didn't have any Tylenol.
thus making me awesome and them whores
moral of the story: I'm going to stab everyone
Either way, he made a blog for his cat.
and it seems i've caught your masturbating bug. thanks.
there's nothing weirder than waking up to your mom eating breakfast on the couch that you fucked her coworker on last night.
There is blood on the door to my room, I have to go to sleep
You told the cop you where the star of the Track team and tried to run away. So yeah, i'm not surprised.
Look. When I let you cum on my tits don't fuck it all up by going "SKEET SKEET SKEET" it just pisses me off.
Once again being low on toilet paper is forcing us into another round of our favorite game - toilet paper roulette - where there can only be 1 winner. Maybe.
I was gonna turn him down, but he correctly identified a song from Pocahontas.
i just thought a plastic bag was my cat. i just pet a plastic bag. that high.
He kept referring to my giving him head as a new level in our relationship and acting sentimental
You gave him a bj, not a kidney
I have a cheeseburger in my purse and im going to fill her prescription for narcotics. Who thought i was responsible enough to sign her discharge papers?
so i went over to her house and we played crash bandicoot, ate calzones, and had sex all day. im in love.
Randomize
