He looks like Spencer from the game Dreamphone
Who's got a bloodstream full of margaritas by 2pm? Not you, that's for sure, because you've got one of those "real" jobs.
Next time, showing us his dick should be his entry fee into your house.
Just told my mom sparks is a health drink. Officially getting hammered on the way to the beach.
its like..once you have one emotional drunk night, you can't stop. i feel like i have to end every drunken night in tears and i dont think my roommates think it's heartwarming anymore
Idk every story shes told me thats started with "back when i was a lesbian" has been my new favorite story
i just want to be sober by dinner like is that too much to ask
Oh no. Not her. Her personality clashes with mine in ways that would make me wanna beat myself with a stick.
Are you coming to class or was the dick pic this morning your way of saying not today?
I got back from work this morning after working the night shift to find an NFL player scaling the side of our apartment...from your window. He just took sneaking out to all new level. Care to explain?
I think that about sums it up, actually.
Sam was like the mother fucking Moses of drunk and underage kids and he lead them to safety away from the cops. He's a hero that we deserve.
I'm at a loss. By loss I mean singing songs from Wicked and pretending I'm at the Oscars
Did this whole conversation happen while you were shitting?
All I'm saying is this is the exact reason I should not be left unsupervised.
STOP IT RIGHT NOW IM BEING A SINLESS CHILD OF GOD IN BED TRYING TO SLEEP AND YOURE SENDING ME MEMES ABOUT DICKS
Randomize
