I knocked on some strangers door, you didn't have to give me a fake hotel room number
they could make at least 3 episode of "i shouldn't be alive" out of my weekend
The reason halloween exists is because it's not cheating if you're wearing a costume.
its like playing clue every morning after we party. she did him in the kitchen with..oh god.
Just saw a girl in a wheelchair puke then rally. Diversity matters.
just had to take a 4 hour nap to write a one page paper. its obviously the week after winter break.
she took her bra off and it was like the puppet strings had been dropped. her tits totally deflated.
we bribed her with croutons and jello shots.
He screamed for everyone to hide, unplugged the music, then talked to the cop. Last I saw he was high fiving him...
He's the fucking cop whisperer.
Check Facebook. Random dude tagged us in photos from last night dancing at Denny's while eating a sampler platter. 1. How does he have our names, and 2. You said we ate at Tbell.
Why do I love Florida? Because I just quit my job because it's too pretty a day to go to work and I'm going to the beach to eat seafood and drink beer.
Her one night stand followed us to mass. This is too funny for real life.
My roommate just walked in with a case of beer locked himself in his room and told us he was going to masturbate his feelings away...
"you can only have my number if you answer all the questions on this trivial pursuit card correctly"
Hes back in his dorm room dancing naked with 3D glasses on.
and he said that acid doesnt really do anything to him...
Randomize
