I'm in your bed right now
Okay meet you there give me 10
Don't think you can make me leave either
Give me ten I ha e to be ******'s wingman I want you
as for my dating sex life, no more regret sticks. Only pride wands from now on.
yeah so i didn't even realize i was on meth until the next morning
it was like weight watchers had a halloween party.
so i had sex last night with my 12th partner, but hes number 1 for my first time using a condom. i think im finally learning.
she just uttered the sweetest sentence in the english language...my stripper friends are coming over
I'm really not interested in hearing from him. Unless there is casual sex involved
Care to explain why there is sushi in the soap dish in the bathroom
She is just sitting by the bathroom like a little puppy waiting for a knight in shining armor to take her in there to fuck her. New low?
does the cute hipster in the kitchen belong to you?
if not i want to bang those glasses off his face
Church parking lot, park bench, front porch. I think she's more comfortable going down on me in public. May have found the one.
Can't tell if it's the drugs or science magic, but I *THINK* that mouse just turned into a squirrel.
she just sent our roommates a message asking them for a parakeet. are you gonna call later?
Also you think METH is on the same level of wanting to see the movie cats? We’re gonna unpack that later
Totally unrelated, but by the way I DO have one ball bigger than the other.
Randomize
