Tell me exactly where it said it wasn't a unisex bathroom.
I did the walk of shame to another booty call
I don't think that should turn me on, but it does
i just watched kanye west and taylor swift have a chugging contest. why cant halloween be every day
we sixty- nined on a tennis court.. not even drunk. you say insane. i say creative genius.
He introduced himself to me as "the gayest gay who ever gayed." I like him already.
Its 6am and I'm sitting on the couch watching Clifford. Crying into my risotto because emily elizabeth helped the girl in the wheelchair get over her stagefright so she can win a trophy. Never drinking alone again.
Just sucked my third dick in the past twelve hours. I must want AIDS.
No, we talked about it. They're cool with me living here as long as I sleep with them both.
You're a rent hooker.
I hope it's socially acceptable to wear a mesh one piece into last call tonight?
I actively tried geting in the guy's pants and ended up in the girl's. I'm bad at this whole straight while drunk thing.
You never know how much you love your bed until you sleep with 4 other people in your car.
So we just accidentally broke into a building from the third floor while carrying shovels. The security guards are still very confused
Is there a coat check? I stole 10 vases of flowers along with two bottles of champagne and I'm not sure what to do with them.
so I may or may not have had intense sex to mozart's greatest hits on vinyl... I don't know if I should be proud or just really disappointed in my nerdness
My Easter Basket from my parents consisted of one chocolate bunny and a massive amount of condoms and a single note saying "the pope approves of the use of condoms" love mom and dad
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