yeah so i didn't even realize i was on meth until the next morning
getting a black eye the first day of spring break really sets the tone for the rest of the week.
I'm really not interested in hearing from him. Unless there is casual sex involved
Come down. You're the next contestant on this bowl.
marshmallow pipe was a success. so was melon pipe. come try it
Told him I'd blow him in the bathroom. There was a giant window everyone was looking thru. He whipped it out n I burst out laughing n walked away. Even blackout drunk I set the bar high. You should be proud.
We'll I told him I wanted to keep it PG last night, but then later I asked him to take his pants off. So i'm guessing it was my fault.
Sadly, she's the porn star that got away
Hahahahaha. That's what your stoned ass gets for eating half a bag of processed cheese at 2am.
He ran into the surf holding up a cigarette yelling "let the Olympic games begin!" So no, no vodka left.
I'm trying to arrange "Flawless" to come on as soon as I get up to leave the room after my thesis defense. Bow down bitches indeed.
I punched the bar tender after he cut me off. Hopped over the bar and made my own drink. That's how I got tazed
I just used my sisters cheerleading plaque and a children's book to crush up painkillers to snort. Happy Friday
You know what would have been funny if we got arrested last night? The inventory search of the lock box:\n\nContents:\n1 work ID\n1 33 round Glock magazine\n1 set of keys\n1 vibrator\n2 bags fruit snacks\n1 parking hang tag
I think my roomie is silently judging me for spraining my foot by having sex in a bounce house
so the bounce house and tequila was good idea then?
Randomize
