Four minutes until I can fart!
The album was titled "Best Night Ever" until she found out she was preggers and switched it to "God Punishes Sluts"
well the hot one passed out so thats that, but then the fat one made chicken nuggets....totally worth it
You rode him down the last flight of stairs like a human sled.
On that note I give you a 10 for sticking the landing and staying on the whole ride.
After you tried speaking to him in whale you asked if you could see his "blow hole." That's how bad it was.
We may have picked the wrong resort. Brenna and I have already been propositioned for swinging twice and we've only been here 3 hours
I was smelling my bathroom to make sure it didn't reek of weed...I spaced out and realized I was face to the wall sniffing it for 5 minutes.
He picked me up in the very car he devirginized me in, his moms toyota.
I wouldn't be too worried. He's been known to chase a chubby before.
THAT IS NOT HOW YOU TALK TO YOUR SISTER
It was all good till you had ppl chasin shots of ciroc with fucking applesauce
Just discovered evidence of drunken eBay bid. Drunk Mike did pretty good -- I'm getting a new sleeping bag.
Meeting him up for him to pay half of the Plan B was awkward but worth it cause I'm broke as fuck
The playlist was "songs to sing in the shower". I literally got fucked to Footloose.
Dog. I woke up between my ex boyfriend witch i'm currently fucking and his bestfriend spooning me in MY bestfriends empty powerless house still really fucked up. No one knows what happend.
So uh. Your future in porn. Would you be willing to wear an alien costume for it?
Randomize
