the real housewives reunion is on...i wanna see if danielle can look any more surprised than the facelift allows
i wanna see dina punch her face back to normal
The Lord gave Farrah Fawcett 1 wish when she died. She wished that all children in the world would be safe! The Lord granted her wish and killed Michael Jackson.
Apparently Chef Boyardee is the only guy I'm taking home tonight.
then for some reason i googled "how much to buy a cannon"
These old men are woofing at me..PLEASE HURRY
We made a bong out of a plastic football. I can honestly say we make a good team.
I have hit nutritional rock bottom I am spreading peanut butter on to lays potato chips
I blacked out after running into my soc TA in the beer garden. came to dancing on the speakers at major lazer and making out with said TA.
Bonding with my year old cousin over the fact that we both shit ourselves. Babysitting like a bosss
New hot neighbor boys moving in across from us...So i did the logical thing and bought two 30 packs up the hill and walked right by em. Consider the line hooked and ready to reel.
Thanks for the hickies, asshole. I make my living as a fitness instructor. It's gonna look reeeeeeal weird if I have to wear a scarf while teaching Zumba all week.
Now we're discussing the sex we had and the later lack thereof. It's like marriage counseling via snapchat.
Jessica just ate her lipstick. That's how the night is going
My intervention, when it happens, should have vanilla cake....buttermilk icing.
Let me set the mood for you. Do you remember Britney Spears in her Hit Me Baby One More Time era? Well I just fucked this college girl I shit you not her name is Persephone and she looks exactly like Britney Spears back when she was hot. I might be in love.
Randomize
