my weekend in 10 words or less: hot friend of a friend, open bar, beach house, sore. In that order too.
You know that bakery that Sandra Bullock's sister owns?
The one in Montpelier?
yeah, well it doesn't exist anymore. VT's one fucking claim to fame closed.
my brother is so whacked out on percocet from hurting his legs that he started crying because his belly button was so cute
Yes..we had amazing sex that I have a 50 percent chance of remembering.
We started snorting MDMA at 3 in the afternoon...it was never going to end well.
The question of "Will I eat a piece of curried chicken off the floor?" has been answered tonight.
Also, hurry up because I don't like drinking alone. I'm still doing it, but I don't like it.
so how does soaking flintstones gummy vitamins in vodka not make perfect sense
I feel like I'm full of double a batteries and cocaine.
There's green glitter on my nipple rings. #mardigras2013
There is a 97.5% chance that my sketchy roommate is also a hooker.
So when can I meet her?
i need to start buying Plan B in bulk and leaving them at the door. I'm really sick of walking to CVS with my one-nighters
dude you pointed at my dad's crotch and said I'd tap that. I didn't even know you were gay.
you tried to make the parrot smoke your joint
Hammered...8am...why is there chickens in the living room?
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