omg, I know. It's so embarrassing that we've both had his penis in parts of our bodies
Hey a mouth doesn't really count. A vagina counts more.
all thats left of you is your magnum wrapper on my dresser
I may have been to starbucks and 2 classes with balls still written on my face...
The old saying is "its not the size of the boat-- but the motion of the ocean" is obviously for those on the "Small side." I am of the belief that "You can't churn butter with a toothpick"
The night ended with a lot of tears and everyone singing along to Willenium
I was giving him a handjob and he commented that he loved my nailpolish....I'm destined to die a fag hag
He waited until after foreplay to tell me that he didn't have a condom and "we" would just have to settle for a bj tonight...
If I had a dick as big as yours. The world would be an oyster. An oyster smaller than my big penis
He left npr on the whole time when we were doing it. ironic that i lost it on the 100th anniversary of the titanic. thanks michelle norris.
IM A SHIT SUOW THE GUYS AT THE PMACR TOLD ME AJDBO I WEBF RO WALNARY WITH OU SHOES! I WASHT LLOWES FLOWERSA
You showed up at 4 a.m with two middle-aged men, a 200 dollar bottle of wine, three bottles of beer, no shoes on, and a half eaten red velvet cake.You are never drinking absinthe again.
If he survived pride he can survive a gay bar
Just found an airplane bottle of whiskey and I didn't put it in my coffee. I think I deserve a little recognition this morning.
dude, shes trippin so bad. idk what shes on, she just told me she doesnt remember her name then proceeded to get in the shower clothed to try to "rinse off the high"
Ugh I realized he only responds to my snaps when I’m eating a popsicle
Why are male brains so small?
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