Please tell me I didn't pass out while we were having sex last night... and if so I am sooooo sorry.
her teeth looked like a whores toenails, i was too horrified to
Even water is tasting like jack daniels
unrelatedly i think im gonna download boogie nights just to see mark wahlberg's penis
So after I pop out this baby we need to just go on a monthlong coke binge so I can get skinny again before vegas
My glasses are somewhere in your living room. Also, my underwear might be in your bathroom or on or around your porch. Sorry.
This would be a good time for the don't get drunk and bang a married chick pep talk...
she stopped traffic so I could crutch across the street. Clubbing while crippled and drunk is different.
You know how hard it is to play cool while not drowning and appreciating a pair of butts at the same time?
We got high and watched Winnie the Pooh. Isn't that what every normal person does on their break?
my whole wardrobe smells like substance abuse
That seems dangerous to buy acid from a stranger on craigslist
Don't date the locals. They're all tainted.
I don't want my vagina anymore.
WHY HAVE SO MANY THING GONE IN MY BUTT ON THIS TRIP
Randomize
