I don't do stupid things anymore. I do stupid people.
my boyfriend just said he'd go down on me if I gave him my password to facebook
sober me hid the cigs from drunk me. sober me is a tricky bitch.
Either this is the best sandwich I've ever had, or my stomach is just relieved to have something in it that's not Red Bull or semen.
the girl in my class has a rolling backpack and just told it to stay. im too hungover for this.
It's just like riding a bike. Only it's a dude's face.
YOU CAN'T BASE A RELATIONSHIP OFF A PENIS
I LIKE HIS TONGUE TOO.
We have a bucket list tonight. Not done yet. Gotta climb a building
We were licking ciroc off the poker table
My day in three words: secret purse cake
Give me a second. I'm doing my best but I'm drunk so for some reason fitting both my boobs in the pic is just incredibly difficult. They aren't THAT big. I'm just being retarded.
Cool. I might be making a sickly but incredibly well dressed wine drunk appearance in a couple hours
Last night was incredible. I can tell by the nacho cheese on my jacket
He just kept pissing on the couch as we were yelling at him while he repeatedly told us "its going to be okay".
Woke up next to a slice if pizza. From what i can tell I tried to plug it into my phone charger. No more blackout wednesdays for this girl.
Randomize
