I use a guy for sex and get three minutes out of him. go figure
Saw 2 former students outside gas station. gave me money to buy 2 12 packs, asked if I wanted to go to their party.
I told them I had a gf and took one of the 12 packs. Come over.
Texas should really raise its teaching standards.
just got passed by a van of kids watching the little mermaid. debating speeding so i can watch
Didn't u have court just yesterday for ur driving?
IT'S THE LITTLE MERMAID! totally worth another year of probation
Apparently I fed my Plan B to my turtle last night.
He kept yelling "osteoporosis" and threw milk at her because she broke her arm.
I HAVE A PRESENT FOR YOU AND ITS NOT MY VAGINA
all i know is that i listed him in my phone as 'vagina cookies.' that can only be a good thing.
I'm not throwing down for dinner because I plan to have so much tequila I puke it up anyways. How much is a cab home?
she tried to handfeed me fritos while yelling "PENIS TRAIN"
She has either a C-Section scar or a bullet wound, I can't quite tell
My arms are hairy. And so Is my left leg. Just my left leg, the right is smooth.
just woke up in a camero on the way to nebraska, i would appreciate it if you answered your phone.
she visited to give me a bj between clients. Social work at its finest.
Is girls night deemed a success when you piss the bed?
Meanwhile I'm working a fucking flute workshop and I'm one high c away from shoving a flute up the asshole of the next passerby
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