mmm... i enjoy making beautiful women smile
fuck. did you have to draw it on me with a permanent marker
you kept trying to convince me i had aids because my head hurt
You kept hiding marshmallows in the freezer saying "they would never think to look here"
hot pretzels for dinner, snacks, and now breakfast...oh to be a poor college student...everyday is like a carnival.
while cleaning my room, i've found many wonderful things. one of these is the card you gave me for my eighteenth birthday. it's a christmas card that says "i want to stick it in your sponger"
I'm sorry. I think I have multiple personalities. Or it was the acid. Either way. I'm sorry.
I couldn't sleep so I drunk ellipticaled for an hour. Worst. Idea. Ever.
um so slept at robs. he woke up, looked at me, and said ' oh my psychiatrists are gonna have a field day with this one' I think that's when you know you can't hang out with someone anymore
We got back from the bar and started watching bizzare foods, which subsequently led to the consumption of large amounts of rancid lunch meat and small insects.
He texts me "just to say hi" and then tells me how hard he is and sends me a dick pic. And I'm like, dude, I'm ordering a burrito right now
Ugh it's 2016, why can't our bodies just shed fat on their own
We ended the night eating peanutbutter with our hands and smoking cigarettes in the house at 4am. Fucking Everclear, man.
he high fived his dick after we had sex
Last time i cooked this high i tried to makw bacon amd then burned myselfbon the grill, only to realize 25min latwr when the bacon wouldnt cook that the grill wasn't on. I IMAGINED the burn.
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