I really like you and I'm tired of just hooking up. I want you be my boyfriend.
Uhh, I'm not breaking up with my girlfriend to be with you.
i havee beer in my backseat and a glow in the dark condom in my cleaveage.
you're going for the gold here.
I just told her she was a heartbeat above a blowup doll.
It took you an unbelievable amount of time to realize that your ass was on fire.
I'm telling everyone at work the mark on my neck is a hickey but really I was taking a shit while straightening my hair and burned myself
Just because he's a soilder doesn't mean his dick is a hero.
not sure how we got back down, broken rib says we didn't use stairs
just walk of shamed past a man riding a bike. RIDING A BIKE. what a wholesome life he must lead.
I'd like to bring you 40 virgins and treasure chests of gold to make you feel better
Did you just reference Ludacris during my possible pregnancy scare of 2012?!
I let my daddy issue flag fly free last night.
My boobs love her too. She makes them feel important even though they're small
You fell asleep standing up against the shower wall
go for it girl, the world is ur dick oyster
You know he wants it bad when he starts going door to door for condoms.
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